There’s a lot to love about being a licensed attorney in the Commonwealth. I’m proud to be  serving the oldest functioning written constitution in the world (the only state constitution to specifically mention “the duty of legislatures and magistrates… to cherish the interests of literature“!) , and to have taken an Attorney’s Oath which has remained unchanged since 1686. The Boston Massacre took place right outside one of my favorite T stations, where fellow Mass Bar member John Adams secured acquittals for six of the eight British soldiers involved only yards away.

But, like the man said, the past isn’t dead… it isn’t even past. For as much as there is to love about having a constitution and an attorney’s oath that are at least twice as old as most American states, it also means that we sometimes have to live with statutes that are just as old–or older.

Our legislature’s woeful failure to update some of our creakiest and most ancient statutes seems to be driven by the same philosophy that has kept the cult of King James going in certain Christian circles: If it was good enough in 1620, it’s good enough for 2008.

Take G.L.c. 272 Sec. 53 (…please!). Although it’s usually referenced as the “disorderly conduct” statute, it is actually a tasty smorgasbord of old-timey criminality. Namely:

Common night walkers, common street walkers, both male and female, common railers and brawlers, persons who with offensive and disorderly acts or language accost or annoy persons of the opposite sex, lewd, wanton and lascivious persons in speech or behavior, idle and disorderly persons, disturbers of the peace, keepers of noisy and disorderly houses, and persons guilty of indecent exposure…

There’s a lot to say about this damnably stupid law, starting with this: It needs to die. Just ask our own Supreme Judicial Court:

We note at the outset that G.L.c. 272 Sec. 53 has been saved, although sometimes just barely, by several limiting constructions and we have repeatedly commented that the statute is archaic and in need of legislative scrutiny.

Commonwealth v. Chou, 433 Mass. 229 (2001), FN2.

Which is to say: Boys,  load up yer shotguns, drag this thing out back, and kindly shoot it in the HEAD. Read more…

Criminal Appeals, disorderly conduct, massachusetts, stupid laws appeals, criminal law, disorderly conduct, massachusetts, stupid laws